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A Thanksgiving Day Guide to Deprogram Karens Who Want to Snitch on Your Family to the FBI
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A Thanksgiving Day Guide to Deprogram Karens Who Want to Snitch on Your Family to the FBI

Put the phone down. Put the knife down. Read this column before it's too late.

Kyle Becker's avatar
Kyle Becker
Nov 25, 2021
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A Thanksgiving Day Guide to Deprogram Karens Who Want to Snitch on Your Family to the FBI
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It’s Thanksgiving Day in 2021 and you know what that means: Endless warnings about Covid.

But if you insist on having a normal life and are having a big family gathering that requires inviting a hysterical Karen (or Karl) over to your domicile, then you must lay down some ground rules to prevent your Thanksgiving from turning into an angry, drunken shoutfest that lands someone in solitary confinement in a federal prison wishing they had never invited ‘them’ to their holiday festivities.

No Snitching to the FBI

It goes without saying that the first rule of Thanksgiving: No ‘snitching.’

A popular Atlantic article by Molly Jong Fast has been circulating among the Karens is filling their heads with the notion that they should rat out their relatives to the FBI if they hold right-wing ‘extremist’ views like Donald Trump was a better president than Joe Biden.

MJF’s advice to her easily swayed audience would make the KGB proud:

I’ve done 43 Thanksgivings, and the best one was probably in 1997, when I was 19 and getting sober at Hazelden in Center City, Minnesota. I’m here to tell you Thanksgiving is terrible, and if you at least spend the time trying to deprogram your niece, you won’t be bored or depressed (though you might be enraged that Fox News or Infowars has convinced her Trump can “save America” from Joe Biden’s radical agenda of giving people hearing aids and free pre-K).

Maybe it won’t work. Maybe you’ll leave Thanksgiving dinner as divided as you were when you sat down at the table five hours and 4,000 calories ago. Or maybe you’ll plant the seed, sow just a little doubt about whatever Tucker Carlson is saying now. Maybe you’ll even change a heart or a mind. Maybe you’ll bring the temperature down just a tiny bit. Or maybe you’ll need to report a relative to the FBI! Either way, it’s something to do besides just eat.

Who would have painted Molly Jong Fast as a depressed drunk who sabotages her family gatherings with political lectures? (Besides everyone.)

Molly now suggests that she was just kidding and her simpleton right-wing critics don’t get her subtle sense of humor.

That is, before she sowed doubt that she actually was kidding.

She’s totally kidding, guys!

No Rapid Tests with Hors D'oeuvres

If a Covid crusader crashes your party, here are some ways to help defuse their anxiety over what they have been programmed by the mainstream media to believe is an apocalyptic crisis threatening all life on earth.

These poor people may insist everyone take rapid tests while they gnosh on deviled eggs in the garage, but don’t call the men in the clean white coats to take them away.

You should know that they picked it up from a CBS “This Morning” segment where they got the looney idea.

Twitter avatar for @ElectionWiz
Election Wizard @ElectionWiz
NOT PARODY: CBS segment on #Thanksgiving suggests families have drinks and "hors d'oeuvres in the garage" while everyone takes a Covid rapid test and waits for the results before going inside…
4:38 PM ∙ Nov 24, 2021
1,371Likes504Retweets

"It might be a difficult conversation before people step into their house to say, 'Whoa, wait a minute, where's your card? What's your status?'" host Nate Burleson asked.

"This is tough," Dr. Damour replied, "because people are all over the map on this, and they're also all over the map with their risk tolerance." She noted that "rapid tests have made this a lot easier. Whatever peoples' vaccination status is, we can actually confirm safety on the spot.”

Dr. Damour advised that guests undergo testing outside the home before entering. "So, if it feels like it's gonna be weird," she said, "maybe make it kind of fun. Say, 'We're gonna start with the hors-d'œuvres in the garage', you know, 'We'll have drinks, we'll do our rapid test, and then come on in'."

"You can make it playful, make it fun, and then be able to enjoy the holiday because you're not worried about safety."

Here is an idea: Try science.

The science behind Covid that the mainstream media currently admit (this is key, because most of us in the independent media were months ahead of them) is that the vaccinated spread the prevalent Delta variant just as much as the unvaccinated.

Now, the mainstream media are finally admitting this to further the relentless universal vaccination agenda and pads the profits of Big Pharma.

“Experts” in the medical community are pushing this rapid testing, even as they admit their earlier conventional wisdom on vaccines is now completely wrong:

Twitter avatar for @annie_sparrow
Annie Sparrow @annie_sparrow
To have a safe Thanksgiving, do a rapid antigen test 2-3 hours before gathering with loved ones. Covid vaccines only reliably prevent serious illness, not infection, for 6-8 months. Fully vaccinated people infected with Delta are very effective spreaders.
nytimes.comTurkey Without CovidA guide to using rapid tests.
6:19 PM ∙ Nov 24, 2021
17Likes13Retweets

But let’s take a step back: If ‘vaccines’ don’t stop or even slow the spread, why does everyone need to get them?

Shouldn’t people who are afraid of a severe reaction to Covid make their own decision? Shouldn’t people who don’t want the vaccines make their own decision?

This might be too logical for a Karen to follow. There is further context: Over 146 million people already had Covid and recovered.

This number isn’t made up out of thin air: The CDC reported it in October.

It should be added that these figures are only current up to September. If you take the multiplier of cases to estimate prior infections, there may be as many as 190 million people who have had it and survived.

Covid is not the end of the world. It’s not a death sentence.

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